According to Sam Allberry, we get singleness wrong. We often believe that singleness is the lack of something: lack of intimacy, family, or meaningful ministry. The Bible paints a different picture of singleness: it’s a gift from God. He’s written 7 Myths About Singleness to help us understand what the Bible says about being single.
Here are the myths he covers:
- Singleness is too hard
- Singleness requires a special calling
- Singleness means no intimacy
- Singleness means no family
- Singleness hinders intimacy
- Singleness wastes your sexuality
- Singleness is easy
Allberry is uniquely qualified to write this book as a single himself, and as a pastor. He’s preached the best sermon I’ve ever heard on singleness, and this book does not disappoint. It’s an important book for singles to read so they can explode some of the myths about singleness, but it’s also an important book for marrieds. After all, we all have a stake in each other’s lives, and many of us who are married now will one day be single again through bereavement.
I found this book especially helpful in refuting some of the most powerful myths I hear repeated: that singleness is a special kind of calling reserved for some but not others, or that it’s a waste of our singleness. At the same time, he’s realistic about the challenges of singleness. This is a book that is biblical, insightful, and realistic.
In case you’re not convinced of the value of this book, it includes a helpful appendix that’s relevant to everyone: “Four Ways to Avoid Sexual Sin.”
Singleness is not second class. It’s important to understand what the Bible says about singleness, and it’s important to learn how to value this gift. Whether married or single, you will benefit from this book and its important message.
This book is available to borrow from our library.
Jesus is not just an example of a non-hypocritical teacher. He is the example of the perfect man. He is the humanity all of us are called to be but which none of us are. He is the most complete and fully human person who ever lived. So his not being married is not incidental. It shows us that none of these things—marriage, romantic fulfillment, sexual experience—is intrinsic to being a full human being. The moment we say otherwise, the moment we claim a life of celibacy to be dehumanizing, we are implying that Jesus himself is only subhuman.
The temptation for many who are single is to compare the downs of singleness with the ups of marriage. And the temptation for some married people is to compare the downs of marriage with the ups of singleness, which is equally dangerous. The grass will often seem greener on the other side.
We need to rediscover a biblical category of intimacy that has been neglected in our cultural cultural context and sadly even in many of our churches—friendship.
If marriage shows us the shape of the gospel, singleness shows us its sufficiency.
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